You Got: People Pleasing Empath
People Pleasing empaths are often also highly sensitive empaths, whose heightened sensitivity led them to learn to shift their behavior around others in order to help manage the emotions and feelings of those around them.
People pleasing empaths are often highly averse to chaos and conflict. People pleasing is often a tendency developed in childhood as a defense mechanism to conflict (usually within the family structure). They may have found themselves acting as a mediator at a young age, or developing a quieter approach to diffuse conflict. Speaking their mind or standing up to authority may have been something that rocked the boat and created more chaos, so they learned that it was safer to shift into acting in ways that benefited or de-escalated the other person instead of acting in a way that was true to themselves. As an adult, they may have buried their true feelings so far down it’s hard to access them and know how they actually feel in the heat of a situation. They have learned to defy their own instincts and bend to the will or needs of others, making it difficult to re-claim their voice and give themselves permission to know that their feelings are also valid.
They may have also allowed themselves to be the scapegoat or have blame shifted on them, finding it difficult to stand up for themselves or even willingly taking the blame to diffuse a situation. Diffusing others’ emotional escalation is often more important to them than just about anything, so they don’t mind taking blame even if it’s not justified. People pleasing empaths will get praised for being agreeable and act in ways to be in good favors of others. They may fear people being disappointed in them, which can cause them to not always be their full self if they think they won’t be digestible to the people they’re around. They have a strong desire to be liked, approved of, or seen as “good.” Oftentimes they’ve created an identity around being liked or “good”, so acting in a way that might contradict that or having someone perceive them differently could cause an identity crisis. This can make it difficult for the people pleasing empath to truly trust themselves, because sometimes their gut feeling of what they want to do or say goes against the identity they’ve created for themselves. They might repress ideas, tendencies, opinions, or decisions that don’t fit in the box in fear of shame, letting others down, or not living up to the person they’ve convinced themselves and others they are. This desire to be liked can result in a chameleon personality, where the person shifts how they act or which parts of themselves show up depending on who they’re around. This can be helpful, but it can also be unhealthy if they constantly feel like parts of themselves aren’t worthy of being accepted by certain people or groups. They may even play out scenarios in their head about how people view them. People pleasing empaths must first have compassion for themselves and realize that the tendency to people please is a result of feeling deeply and not wanting to become overwhelmed. From a space of compassion and understanding, people pleasing empaths can push themselves to practice becoming comfortable in the midst of discomfort.
At their healthiest, an empath with this tendency is able to re-connect with their most authentic self and show up in this authenticity. They are able to intuitively tap into their expression and voice in any given moment and express themselves without fear of how they will be received. They no longer waste their energy imagining how they will be perceived – instead they fully love themselves and have grace for themselves. They allow other people to deal with their own emotions and don’t feel responsible for how people react to them. They recognize how valuable their own needs are, and learn how to vocalize these needs and prioritize relationships that prioritize them too! They set boundaries without fear of disappointing others, and through that feel a great peace in being true to themselves.
Tips for The People Pleasing Empath
1. Open your Throat Chakra. Add a singing or mantra practice to your daily ritual. Opening up your throat will help you re-establish trust with your voice and
authentic truth. You can deep dive into working with your chakras in my course, The Empowered Empath.
2. Examine your Mother or Father Wounds. Often People Pleasing tendencies are
directly tied to parental relationships. Re-examine the way you had to act around your parents to receive love and look at how that relates to your present relationship dynamics. Awareness of childhood patterns is the first step to making shifts that reflect who you want to be now. Look out for a free mother wound meditation coming to your inbox later this week.
Hey... I'm Natalie Clare!
I'm so glad you found your way to this side of the internet. I'm a Fellow Empath and Highly Sensitive... And the woman behind this quiz! Over the past 7 years I've worked with hundreds of Empaths through my coaching and energy healing practices. I'm passionate about serving empaths because I believe that when we are balanced, grounded, and nurtured, our sensitive hearts create ripples through-out the Universe.
Unfortunately, many Empaths are operating from an ungrounded, overwhelmed, and over-giving state. I know that feeling first hand. It's my life's mission to help guide sensitives through their healing journey and support them with the tools they need to thrive.
Over the next few days I'll be popping into your inbox to share more tools and opportunities for you. I'll be sharing a FREE exercise you won't find anywhere else.
Be sure to open my first email for the results and tips for each Empath type, since I'm sure you've got at least a little bit of each in ya.

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