Why You May Be Subconsciously Creating Chaos In Your Life

Why Are We So Addicted to Drama and Chaos?

The term “Drama” may sound like we’re talking about a teenage girl, and something we don’t want to be associated with. We especially wouldn’t want to consider ourselves “addicted” to it. But if you look at the news, the reality T.V. shows, the catchy headlines and click-bait, you’ll see that the reason so many of us are drawn to these things, is simply a reflection of what’s going on in our brains.

Drama causes endorphins to be released, which are pleasure-inducing and pain suppressing compounds. Like a drug, you can build up a tolerance to this high, causing you to need more crisis in your life to get the same amount of thrill. We may state that we don’t like drama, but if it’s constantly showing up in our lives, we have to look inside ourselves and see if there’s any part of us that is actually thriving on it.

Most of us are used to constantly existing in a state of an activated sympathetic nervous system. Being in a state of calm and slowing down can actual feel a bit painful at times, and cause us to want to seek out stimulation. Honestly, it can feel boring, unfamiliar, and un-stimulating.

But on an even deeper note, having a relaxed nervous system can also feel unsafe to us, as our bodies might be protecting us from harm or being blind-sided by keeping us on high-alert. If things slow down, say in your romantic relationship, and you’re not going through those highs and lows, it might cause your anxiety to amp up, causing you to subconsciously or consciously create even more ups and downs so that you feel “safe.” This is especially true if a part of you holds the belief of “the calm before the storm” or “what goes up must come down.” When things feel calm, it can be scary as we begin to brace for the shoe to drop.

But if we create our own chaos, then we don’t have to wait for the shoe to drop. Nobody and no circumstance can have the power to pull us out of feeling relaxed, calm, and peaceful if we don’t let ourselves feel calm and peaceful in the first place. Staying activated in this way can give us the upper-hand, and again, is a way we protect ourselves. 

Craving drama through your life's circumstances and the media that you consume is simply your body re-enforcing the state it’s already living in and the state that it’s comfortable with. This is why we have to consciously decide to break up with this pattern.

If  you really feel you’ve been through with drama for a while, yet you still find it coming up often in close groups, it may be the case that you simply need to make the decision to spend less time around the people who are not a match for your reality anymore. Letting people go or pulling most of your energy out of people who you’ve been connected to for a while can be very difficult, but it can be a path of liberation, allowing you to open up a door for people who are on a similar wavelength as you.

I truly believe that the worlds healing will come from each of us making a shift of consciousness within ourselves. We can’t heal things that we don’t acknowledge within ourselves. If we’re going around stating that we want a more peaceful, equitable world with less violence, power-dynamics, and love, yet the words coming out of our mouths are not rooted in love towards others, then we are not truly in alignment of creating the world we say we’d like. There is no shame in admitting where we are. Even the parts of ourselves that thrive on chaos and drama deserve our own love and compassion.

 Breaking Up With The Pattern

Re-train your nervous system to get comfortable with parasympathetic activation by:

  • Practicing Qi-Gong
  • Practice Reiki
  • Practicing Mindfulness
  • Practice Nervous System Orienting
  • Practice Breath-work
  • Touch your lips together (this activates your PNS)

Notice how often you're consuming stimulating media. Replace this media with art, books, reading poetry, singing, walks, time in nature, or any other activity that will help you switch into your parasympathetic nervous system

 

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